Since someone going to be not very good, i will be nasty too. I'm not only talking about chinese intensive , You others lesson also got noisy before... We unbutton so what, big fuck ah. If we do not have rights to pinpoint you , then you do not have any rights to pinpoint others right. the world is fair , if you do something to someone, you will too get that something. So if you don't want people to say you, then you don't say anything about others 1st. I don't care about any facts, I just believe in what i see. Get it... ZZZ...
PS : Singapore got how many people will unbutton uniform, how are you going to stop them from unbuttoning their clothes. zzz... Many people saw me unbuttoning even from secondary one, so if i don't button , what can you do... I have no plans to quarrel with you, me and you since sec 3 already quarrel many times ler. Think I want it, zzz. By the way , say that to yourself too, if you don't know us, please don't even try to pinpoint people.
And if anyone wants me to flare up and lose control like mad, try it, go help her, till now , i still believe that i am right to comment back.
When to school to take my essay just now . Another disappointing one .Guess i have to learn from my mistakes , and improve on it . I want a1 for my 'o' levels !! I bet all of you does also . So all the best for it .
Basically , i met with those usual people , including clarance as he wanted to join us . So walked to school ~~
After that waited for quite a long time as Mr Tan is busy due to the parents meeting session . Neverminds uh , manage to learn something while waiting . So discussed and decided to go makan at hougang plaza there . Went there with Harry chenjun kevin clarance yixiang zan kai jiunn liang . All ordered steak except me and harry . -.- After that , reach home and took a nap~ Now using com . Sianz , i have no mood to study for chinese .
Argh ! Why am i still thinking about you ? I shouldn't be doing this , i should be studying . What a joke , i bet you don't miss me at all , or don't even remember me uh . F , i should be strong .
Anyway for Cianyuh : Baby , cheerup uh . you must work towards your goal , and i'll help you on your way through . We're on the same boat also , so ... 加油！！ I'm always on your side , (: 不要辜负我的期望啊 ！！ 不要伤心 ， 要看得开 . (:
For Xinwei : Yo mei , something for you . We don't need love to survive . We need care and concern . Which is what many many of us is giving you now . Anyway , the boat is so crowded . lols . So yeah . 不要伤心 ， 要看得开 。 (:
To many many others who are on the same boat as me : Now the most important thing is to study study and study . I know its difficult not to think of them , but we have to overcome this , which is we don't need them to survive . So we must really 加油 , and excel in our studies . We don't pay to fail , we pay to get A1 . So 加油 all ! My phone is 二十四小时 开着的 。 当你需要一个对象倾诉时 ， 随时打给我哦 。 (:
hi I am yongquan. Don't worry everyone, i am better now, but also still a little sad at my result and something that happen in the school today.
Anyway , I swear i am going to work hard, last year , i nearly won jie ying, this year , i will give my every shot starting from today, first to win is jie ying, and then i will ain to win 4A people. 不到黄河心不死 ... I swear i will work hard, there is no time to slack around ler.
today, have a tiff with a friend that i always acknowledge as a friend since march or april. Just teasing her and she say that I am one of the major problem in the class that always unbutton shirt. WTF, unbutton shirt really can make us cooler lei, zzz. Won't so hot at least. I today , actually plan to test you when I saw your blog the other day. And , I found out that you are really talking about me. I have no chest hair to show , for your information. And I unbutton shirt not to show anyone!
If you can say other people problem, why don't say about some of your problem? You ran around shouting, is it a problem? You told me to change because i wanted to see the change and not change because others wants to see it. But does it applies to you too? If you want to see me button up my shirt, then the first thing you have to change is yourself. If you really don't believe that your really hae a problem then I nothing to say ler. Being friends for about 1 year plus ler lei. You think i really wanted to lose any friend? Ask yourself , why the fuck will I want to lose my friend for ?? zzzz ....
Hais , nevermind, I told you last time that you would never understand. But this time , I hope you will understand. For your information, I am not scolding you , me too is just commenting back. If you felt offended, I will not say sorry, Because , I am sure I am speaking the facts.
In this week, I found some friends distancing themselves from me. Those who i felt is my best friends became further from me, while those who i felt is normal friend took care me more. So , have i being choosing the right type of friends?
Ps: I have to thank Chenjun and Harry and Yee Zheng for their support when I was sad. Thanks. I think only you guys will know how I feel right now. YUP, Brothers forever.
Congratulation to my Chenjun(papa) for achieving his aim. And sorry papa , i think i will dissappoint you ler, my result are not very fantanstic. sorry.
Yeezheng: Although you fell in your position, don't be sad. just jiayou on your next test. i know you can do it de.
Chenjun , Yee zheng , Kar Wong : Guys , Don't forget out competition on who will get the 1st in O levels. I have slacked too much. Its time for me to wake up. Brothers , I am coming to chase you. And i hope that this motivation will last for a long time , at least to the end of the O level. Lastly, goodnight everyone.
YOngquan NOBODY It's gone What's gone? My mind? Soul? No, I'm fine Not really Deep inside, something is missing The love and tender kissing She walked out herself Now all I do is talk to myself in the mirror, with my reflection My heart is dead Soon it will make a resurrection Once the wounds heal And I'm loved for real A type of love I can feel But nobody loves me Nobody cares Nobody loves me That nobody is me I can't love myself because no one does I'm all alone and no longer what I once was But the only thing that keeps me alive Is knowing that the next day, it might all change For the best And that "nobody" becomes somebody
If These Walls Could Talk
If these walls could talk, you'd know my body is dead, my mind has been taken over, that's why I am so scared, I can't control it, anger is making me blind, I've been left here on my own chained to a hate of some kind. If these walls could talk.
If these walls could talk, you'd know about my fears, about all those nights I screamed for help, about all my fallen tears. You'd know about the demons haunting me at night, you'd be able to help me keep my fire alight, if these walls could talk.
If these walls could talk they would say that it's all right, God sends His angels to look over me at night. They'd encourage me, say though I am alone it doesn't mean I'm on my own. He watches me, from above and showers me with all His love, if only these walls could talk.
Alone
I am alone, so very alone
I hurt, so very bad
I am ignored, just thrown aside
I am security, for others to have
I am lonely, there is no one close, no one sees the pain
I cry, hope is gone
I am alone, and no one knows
Quotes
1)For so long my heart ached for friends...true friends...who I could laugh with and cry with, and who, through thick and thin, would always stick by me. And I have learned through experiences that these types of friends are hard to come by. And when you find them, you have to hold on and never let go, because you will never again find friends as true as them.
2)I'll always be beside you until the very end, wiping all of your tears away, being your best friend. I'll smile when you smile and feel all the pain you do, and if you cry a single tear, I promise I'll cry too.
3)And all the lonely nights and all the crushing scenes and all the pointless fights. Someone tell me what it means. Someone tell me why hearts break. I'm giving up on happy endings
4) I learned to laugh, I learned to cry. Will I ever learn to say good-bye?
let it go 5/28/2009 12:20:00 AM
May 27, 2009
This is my second post of the day. I know that many people are shocked at my actions today because I had not being like this in the while. I don't know why I will become like this. However , I know something. I have a very bad mood recently.
Firstly, i don't know what happened. I suddenly thought back of her. I don't know why. I just feel very pain in my heart suddenly. To those who sit close to me should have notice me kept rubbing my face in a fuss. I don't know how it happen. But I suddenly kept thinking of her in the class. Hais. O level reaching ler and I am still in this type of situation, i think i cannot make it ler. Let hopes myself all the best.
Secondly, It about friendship which I have mention in the previous blog. I wanted to ask, Have I changed? In the first day of intensive chinese, I felt everyone is avoiding me . Is it because you are using me in the 1st place or is that I have really change.
I knew that many of you thought that I behave like a gangster . However, No matter how hard I tried to change, all of you would never notice a change in me. I am gangster. OK , Let me be 1.
Today in rivervale mall nearly get into taiji again. Went back home, told my brother, and he says he going to find the guy. Fuck bully smaller guys nia.
I swear if you guys really wanted to avoid me and stop having a paikia friend like me, then so be it . Because , I am already used to the coldness everyone gave to me.
I wish everyone score well for your chinese O level on Monday.
Friends What do everyone thinks of when it comes to friends. Actually, i thought that friends is crucial in everyone lives. However, after so many things had happened recently, I finally really felt that I am alone again, I am left behind by my friends. I suddenly realised that some friend are not that important to me after all.
Why did I say that? It is because if you wanted a friend just to play and be a soreloser and fight, then i prefer to be enemy at first, so when we really fight that time , i want xin ruan.
Because I wanted a friend turn one big big round to scold me when she/he can just say out my big big name. ( You should know who you are! ) . You think I'm stupid, when I saw some of you avoiding me on the 1st day, i knew it. I don't fucking care. I can be an independent boy, i do not need anyone. I know I'm being very attitude, if you don't like how i behave, how i do things, then just FUCK OFF!
Because I wanted a friend who fades away easily.
Because I wanted a friend who are not truthful at all and toying me.
Hey, don't think that I am stupid. I am a human, I have feelings de, I can feel that most of my friends are fading away, distancing themselves from me. I don't know what is the reason, and i don't want to find out, if you don't want me to get near you all just say so. Ya , call me gangster if you all want, call me a defiance boy, for whatever reason, I don't care.
I can only say, since you want it this way, then have it your way.
Friends, no matter how hard I try to continue our friendship, no matter how hard I try to improve the friendship between us, But it still slips away.
So , 1 things to say to you all who hates, dislike anything about me. LIMBEI don't care ler. Want be friends or not , the choice is in your hands. I cannot control your decisions. I can only say, friends are apparently not important to me.
The hardships we have gone through to mantain our friendship last time and the memories that all of you gave to me , will always be curved in my heart.
From today onwards, LOW YONG QUAN STANDS ALONE AGAIN.
Back to posting while waiting for my dota - mates to finish their dinner .
Hahahas , nowadays keep dota sia . Shit , should be studying . But later . ;X
Hmmms , lose harry another box of pocky again , lols . My day 2 paper 2 improved .. But still lose harry 2 marks . -.-
My paper 1 , ying yong wen also improved . But lose harry 1 mark . Then compo deteriorated , and i lose him 2 marks . -.-
So LL must treat him pocky . 男子汉 说话算话 。 :DDD
Anyway , i'm glad that you're fine . Good to know that as well . Hmms , just to say my feelings for you like faded , but its still strong . Sighhs . Forget it . Hope it continues until i can totally forget you . Yeah .
hahahas , its the second day of intensive chinese . Dunno why today not so tired already . Maybe is the arrangement bah .
Anyway , starting of the day took paper 1 . lols . When i wrote 5 pages for compo , i already tio shoot by mr tan le , then today's paper i wrote 6 pages . around 2 more lines to 7 . LOLS , DIE . HAHAHAHHAS .
Oh ya , i know my comprehension le . Flunked . LOLS . Lose harry a box of pocky . DAMNED , I WANT WIN BACK . And i also know some answers for today's paper 2 , and realise quite a lot of mistakes . Die la , why my chinese keep deteriorating ? Muz work extra extra harder !!
And i got back yesterday's paper 1 . Wooo !~ For compo section , i scored the highest in the class . AHHHH . But still not very happy , cos the ying yong wen section i did badly for it . Maybe because i never manage my time properly and had lesser time for that bahs .
Hmmms . A quote for you guys ! ( PS : Copy from Chenjun ) HAHAHA
Tiring day , took chinese paper 2 in the morning and went through in the afternoon . Totally flunked that paper , and i know most of us did too . I must say that it is difficult , and i have damn lots of mistakes . Guess my chinese is still sucky yeah ?
Anyway sian - ed 1/2 when i know that we will have to take a paper 2 and a paper 1 everyday until chinese o level come . OMG , just bear with it bah . I want my distinctions . (:
Yea , today you're absent . Just to tell you to take good care , and get well soon . Chinese 'o' levels is around the corner , can't afford to fall sick . You must really recover soon , lessons without your laughter and voice seems weird to me . Without your presence made me feel empty . Even though we didn't talk , i'm already pleased when i can see you . I don't expect too much , yeah . So take good care , and must really recover as soon as possible .
Nothing to post already . Dota - ed just now , with those normal dota-mates . First round and we won . Good start ? Hope so .
Turning back the pendulum back to the days we have , seems to hurt alot . Now , when i'm alone , its impossible not to think of you . But for me , it seems like you had never liked me before , never . This is how i feel at least . Maybe your heart is filled with someone else , and that person is on the same boat with me , missing you every second .
i've decided to post out my feelings , remember that day when i saw a name ? Just a simple name would pierce through my heart . You can try if you don't believe how pain it can be . Imagine a person you like and she knows that you like her , but you saw somebody Else's name on her wallpaper ? And the saddest thing is you're with her . I tried to hold back my tears , and i've succeeded , but its unavoidable that i want to be alone , thats why i went off so quickly . I'm sorry . To you , it might just be a simple name , but for me , it really hurts a lot . During the days we had together , have you ever put my name on the wallpaper ? Yea forget it , i should not expect this . I cared so much about is because i love you . Still loving you , but you might not know . Seeing you in school everyday is really hell, especially when you talk to other people, play with other people. But I just can’t do anything about it. I’m just a normal friend right now, I can only suffer in silence. Go home and emo. Nobody knows it hurts so much. Sighs , the name you love , the name I'll always remember , until my death bed .
Why am i still writing this for you ? Why am i still so sad for you ? I should have know this will happen . You are like a razor , leaving a deep scar in my heart , i just can't forget you . I'm trying my very best right now . Wish me good luck .
I think now you're starting to hate me , which is good . I'm sure you can find a better one , to take care of you . Wish you all the best . And promise me , to be happy all the time . I felt like dying when i know you're unhappy , but I'll just make the situation worse , so i just kept quiet , wishing for somebody to cheer you up . So no matter what , you must be happy ,and really must take good care of yourself , and don't do silly things anymore .
I am Yong Quan..... I saw your answer... Although you answered me so early, i sawit after so many weeks.And all this weeks since like hell to me. So, hao peng you, you too get good result not just with your mid-year exam but also your O Level examination. Yup , i know not only me and you have the same aim to get the very best result in the O level. Many people did hoped that they can get the very best in the O level.However if everyone believe in themselves and work hard. I believe many have chancesto achieve it. Well good ,I finally clear a doubt that have hinder me to get my desired results. But I have one more obstacle. Do I have the discipline to achieve my desired result. All i always did was to fool around and slack , not study. Just how can i change my bloody negative attitude towards studies. Hais how I wish I am like everyone else, bury their head with books and bully their brain to study . I believe myself I can achieve the top if I canconcentrate. Do everyone believe in themselves? And do you , hao peng you, do you believe in yourself?
Anway, I think I screwed my mid year exam. Hais , I think i cannot achieve my aim le. Blame me please, I am always slacking. Sians.
Did you scored well? Hope you really score well?
I got 3 A1S for E-Math , A-Math , History. C6 for social studies But the A1 is low A1. I hate my result.
I went to K-box yesterday. It was fun. singing here and there. I hope i could go there again.... hahas....
PS-- Yong Quan, You must be strong... Take this as a learning experience. Take this as a motivation. In june , you should start your revision. Its being a long time since You revise your work.
To everyone--- Hahas , beware yongquan... I am coming back soon. i will achieve my aims...chiong ah
Yo all , our results are back , not not all . Some subjects are quite disappointing such as math , SS , chem , chinese . english . Which is like almost all ? LOL
Okays . Counted and if i'm not wrong , i've gotten 2 As , and 1 C . lols . English paper 2 is not returned so could not count out total english . Physics also is not returned so also cant count science . Similarly for dnt , which is tomorrow ; My doomsday as i think i gonna score really bad for my dnt , ); hope i don't fail as i don't intend to fail any subjects .
Alrights . My A are Chinese ! Paper 1 = 13/20 and 39/50 . Scored a 13 for letter as i wrote ALMOST out of point , lols . My Oral scored a 35/40 and a listening of 16/20 . Paper 2 is a disappointment as i only scored 47/70 . ARGHH , my comprehension is totally screwed . lols , yea . So altogether is 74.5% which Mr tan teck mang promised to round up to 75% . :X
As for another A , is C.Humanities . I managed to score an A1 for history and got a top in class with kar wong as both scored the same marks , which is 46/50 . Woooo , its an achievement okay , so shaung can . xDD AND I MUST NOT GET COMPLACENT NO NO NO !! ANYWAY ANYWAY , my bloody SS only managed to get a just pass which is 25/50 , KNNBCCB , now my C.Humanities is dragged to 71% which is an A2 due to my ss . Sighhhs . Sian .
As for English , i scored a 18 - 1 = 17 and a 16 - 1 = 15 for paper 1 . MUST improve on that as it is only some c6 and c5 which i don't want . Hoping that my paper 2 can score but heard that 4a had 29 failures which totally destroyed my hope . lols .
Omg , speaking about Maths , i did badly for paper 1 and 2 and only managed to score a c6 which is 51% . My paper 1 got 42/80 and paper 2 got 49/100 . Awww , I MUST IMPROVE MATH , CANNOT GET Cs ANYMORE , AT LEAST B PLEASE .
For Chemistry , i got a B4 which consist a Mcq score of 12/20 and a paper 2 of 41/65 . Yea , need improve on that as well and really hope my physics will pull up my science results . Wish me goodluck .
Well , thats all folks . Will be posting tomorrow on my Dnt and Physics results . Stay tuned !~ (:
It was finally the end of Mid Year Exam . Sighhs , flunked many subjects yea .
Tomorrow sure get a scolding . Anyway today's oral is definitely a joke . Mrs Joanna Hwee was on MC so PATRICK took over , and we ALL thought he is very nice . So managed to relax a bit by calling him BOTAK , which of course i didn't yea . Many of them tio GuaiLan-ed by Him including me , but mine was not so serious compared to Clarance , hahahs poor clarance .
Discuss-ed and decided to go to pool with many many people . Including Yixiang and co , Sam , Choon Kiat , chenghan , yufei me chenjun and kevin . Yea , enjoyed as i played around 2 hours of pool at hougang plaza . After that was sian-ed and went to play photo hunt with yufei chenjun chenghan shu hao . FUN FUN !! And we managed to score thrid . WOO WOO MAGGOT CLAN FTW ! lols .
After that , raphael joined us and we went to Net force for Lan . Dota-ed and it was so damn funny . One of us was sent to enemy for 'spy' and can screen and also alert ourself . HAHHAHAH AND CHENGHAN WAS THE UNLUCKY ONE . Damn joke , hahhas .
Yea , after that went to rivervale mall with chenjun yufei and chenghan as me and yufei was warned by mr zul that we'll be suspended and could not get back our results if we did not cut our hair . zzzzs i was like wtf man . Only hair long abit right . Need suspend meh , crap . ..l..
Yea , now my hair is like super short . aiya heckcare la , will grow back de . lols . Gonna dota le . wooo .
Finally can go out with my friends le , its like so long since we went out together . Definitely enjoyed today man . WOOO . GREAT TIME !
Anyway i know that you've got the person you like already , well just wish you goodluck . Thats all what i can do right ? Take care , silly .
Guys , be mentally prepared for tomorrow !! Sure will get scoldings .
Three years to the day and it's all the same, You're still inside my head, still inside my brain, Not one of these pills can control the pain, And all of my world's gone up in flame, Your ashes may be gone, but your soul still here, Still haunting me, the cause of my fear, I'm all fogged up, nothing is clear
A physical ache! A mental break! Tearing me down from the inside out now, A terrible shake! An earthen quake! Every building' 'round is falling down, Revealing your feelings to me,
The colors I'm seeing come in black or white, The colors left with you on that fateful night, You once told me it'll be alright, But now I'm losing my will to keep up the fight,
A physical ache! A mental break! Tearing me down from the inside out now, A terrible shake! An earthen quake! Every building' 'round is falling down, Revealing your feelings to me,
Do you know me know you've popped my heart on the ground? Have you missed me since you left without a sound? Now my soul is lost never to be found, And I'm selling my body off by the pound,
A physical ache! A mental break! Tearing me down from the inside out now, A terrible shake! An earthen quake! Every building' 'round is falling down, Revealing your feelings to me,
Posting now while waiting for chenghan and we can start another round of dota .
Hmmms mid year exam had finished , but i still feel the same , not happy or whatsoever , maybe Chinese o level is coming already . Gonna score distinction for that yea .
Alrights , today's paper is fine for me , but when discussing with friends , realise i had quite a lot of mistakes , but i don't give a damn since its over . Whats the point worrying over it right ?
Anyway tomorrow got english oral , guys remember to bring your english magic booklet or you'll be slaughtered by Mrs haffidz , lols .
Sian , quite moody these few days . Cannot decide whether to talk or not to , both is wrong . -.-
Omg , chenghan is back , kkays just to say a few more words .
I miss you , but i know i should keep a distance away from you .
Since it doesn't really matters to you anyway . I need doraemon , to give me those machines i want , especially a time machine . To the past , and also to the future . I want to know lots of things , now its like all unknown to me .
Yea , wish that you will really take care and don't do those silly stuffs anymore . I'm not there anymore , you don't need me anyway .
Just to say , hope you'll be happy and take good care .
Speaking about today's test , its a total disappointment , lols .
Physics : Things i studied never come out , and the question is quite difficult . Not enough time , left 5 mins for section B second question . LOLS , ANYHOW PIA .:X
Here comes the most goner thing , DNT : FCUK , i totally screwed that paper , don't even know what the fuck the paper asking . I dare to say i studied , but still screwed . BULLSHIT . FLUNKED ANOTHER PAPER . AHHH
OKAY , LETS TALLY UP MY PAPERS .
TOTAL SCREWED PAPER : ENGLISH PAPER 2 , SOCIAL STUDIES , MATHS PAPER 2 ( SCORED 48 ) , DESIGN AND TECHNOLOGY , PHYSICS .
CAN PASS PAPER : ENGLISH PAPER 1 , MATHS PAPER 1 , CHINESE PAPER 1 AND 2 , HISTORY , CHEMISTRY , PHYSICS ?
Gone la my Mid Year , lols . Sure tio Mr Tan gan de . Sighhhs . I'm still aiming for 15 points , LOLS . Now i think i gonna get 30 points . -.-
SHIAT .. I'M BACK TO DOTA MOOD AGAIN !! OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG , how how ?
Gonna dota again le later .
GUYS , goodluck for your tomorrow's science paper 1 , POA / A Maths paper 2 . (:
Seems like now i have no more friends anymore . Everyone hates me .
Forget it , anyway i didn't backstab you . and you're still my friend , yea .
I wanna forget her , everything happened after i fell for her .
I'm not blaming you , its me , maybe i changed too much . To a sucky person yea .
Alrights , speaking about Mid Year Exams , i'm not very happy with it .
English paper 1 - Can pass , not high English paper 2 - Don't think can pass . Chinese paper 1 - Think can get B Chinese paper 2 - think can get at least a B also , but aiming higher . Chemistry paper 3 - Can pass , at least a B bahhs . History - Mr tan is freaking me out , dunno can pass or not after his comments .. SS - Flunked . Screwed an essay . Maths paper 1 - can pass , not high . Maths paper 2 - DIE~ was dying halfway but mr ong's pinch manage to wake me up .
Yea thats all . Sighhs , sad uh . I don't expect you guys to forgive me . Just wanna let you guys know that i still trust you all , treat you all as my brothers .
hi i am yongquan. i think i am the only one that is blogging now. hais. this time i have sad news again. Not about all of you, but it involve me. hais , i think, my E math, social studies, history , chinese, and even my English is flunked. i think i did very badly for these papers. I don't know what the fuck is with me. i think i am very useless. people in my class kept improving, while my result kept detoriating. Hais,
let it go 5/15/2009 11:49:00 AM
May 5, 2009
hi i am yongquan. sorry for not blogging for so long. I just want to say a few things today again. i have fail my english once again. i dunno what to do. i just hope that someone can help me to push my english standard up.
Anyway, i heard from someone that you do not hate me. And i can also can tell you that i do not hate you, not even a little bit. i just do not dare to talk to you like how we usually talk last time. you want me to forget you, which for ur information, is highly impossible. I have tried many times, and failed so many times. 1 thing that i am sure is , i will never think that we will be together again. I finally understand that we are in a different world and that we do not belong to each other. Thus , i want you to promise me this very last time, enjoy your life. Be happy always. like what you promise me last time, that you would smile everyday. Although i kept on trying to avoid you, sometimes , a glimpse is inevitable. Thus, i promise that i will try to forget you from today onwards. If you happen to see this message, can you give 1 tag for me, just 1 last tag, as a promise , that you would smile everyday, and also stay happy with him forever.:)
i really hope so. Just 1 tag would do. just 1 tag to show that you are happy and is fine. just 1 please. Just once...
This post will be about some emotions thingy and sorts . Sorry guys , bear with me .
All my friends now say that my words or even messages have secret agenda , when i don't even have one . Its still normal , the way i always talk or i type . Why do you guys do not say me last time ? I really have no secret agenda and you guys just don't believe . Its not the first day you all know me right ? You all should know i'm straight-forward and does not think before i speak , and now you guys say i got agenda . I don't know what to do anymore . Anyone tell me what to do ? You guys really think that i got secret agenda in my words ? If thats the case then i really got nothing to say le , i cant change how you think right ? Even my best friend say that too , when he really knows me well . Just to say that i can swear with my life that i have no fcking agenda , believe it or not . I think i will have to give one-word answers to every questions le . I will be as quiet as possible . I don't want to lose friends anymore , at least until the end of 'o' levels . I treat my friends the best , giving them my everything , i don't want this , i want back my old friends , i want the trust . I don't know how it started , that you all start to hate me . i want a time machine , i want back the past , where we enjoy ourself , and have no such problems . I want back the past , where we know each other well , and know what each other are thinking . I want back the past , where our friendship is much stronger than anything else in the world . I want back the past , where we help each other . Now its so much different , sighhs , i really want back the trust . Can i do anything to mend the broken friendship ? I will go crazy if this carry on . Soon , i'm going to collapse . I'm sure ..
Sorry for all grammar or language mistakes . My english is bad . Goodbye .
