February 15, 2010
Watched 2 blog post saying about friends. I can only say I was touched, because after so long I thought that I had disappear from everyone mind, I saw that they still treated me as a friend.
My plans last year had backfired on me. I been trying of pulling the 2 clique together and so forming a more united class. But in the end, I was so called PULL to the another clique because of the same things we had done, our interests, and our habits, Especially a 7-year friendship. I was like desserted another clique. I felt so sorry.
Although I was more 'near' to them, I still never forget you guys. Just have lesser chats. I will still remembered the times that I and kar wong chating from 6pm to 1am using studying as excuses. After that we still do not want to go home, but still have to due to many things. I still remembered yee zheng doing many silly things together, such as turning the go-round and round thing, and giving me 2 dollars for completing 30 rounds. We had many happy times. However, we also have bad times. I remembered them trying to scold me to my senses when I cannot control myself from my emotional state because of her. I remembered them trying to pull me back when I try to engage into fights. Everytime I was angry, They will try to pull me back.
Remember once, I was angry at Mr ong for something. Kar wong know it, He try to stop my anger and tell mr ong to stop it. I remember I have the biggest conflict with Mr ong, When Yee zheng held me tightly like a brother. I remember many times that held on to me to prevent me from getting into troubles. I remember them trying to soothe the anger in my heart. I remember them trying to soothe the pain that I was trying to endure. I remember them as best friend of mine.
I remembered them. But 1 thing I also remembered, is that I did not do many things for them. I only try to share their pain sometimes. Whatsmore, I did something that both of them don't like. I'm sorry to be such a bad friend.
Although I treated many people as friends or good friends or even best friends, I do not really know how you all felt towards me. Sometimes I felt extra. Sometimes you all treated me as brothers. But most of the time now I go out with you all, I was just like an extra. I cannot really feel that we are friends at all. And within these timmes I had tried all my best to accustom to these lonely feelings. All these boredom feelings. Maybe is because I don't know how to talk. I can give all my best shot to friends, but can they? And did I?
I always remembered those precious feelings that lingered in my mind.
Labels: Broken friendship ?
let it go
2/15/2010 10:26:00 PM
