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February 20, 2010

It's just me- Escape the fate

I'm creeping my way out so you can see me
I'm crawling my way around a thousand cities
You all stop and stare
I don't need your pity
I'm living my life in this hell.
Now I'm crawling away 'cause the stress has killed me
I feel like I fell from a ten story building
You best run and hide before the devil starts forbidding
I'm living my life in this hell

I'm not one for the crowd to see
It's just me
It's just-

Just a little more, come on and satisfy me,
Just a little more, come on and terrify me,
Just a little more and I'll be done with it
Take my life and then I'll feel okay

Cut it out of my mouth,
Put my tongue on the pole,
I won't sing anymore,
I'm losing control.
Cut it out of my mouth,
Put my tongue on a pole,
Take the air from my lungs,
Take the heart from my soul.

I'm not one for the crowd to see,
It's just me,
It's just

Just a little more, come on and satisfy me.
Just a little more come on and terrify me.
Just a little more and I'll be done with it,
Take my life and then I'll feel okay,

Okay, I'll feel okay.
Okay!

Cut it out of my mouth,
Put my tongue on a pole,
I won't sing anymore,
I'm losing control.

Cut my tears of the sound,
The erosion of my soul,
I won't sing any more,

I'm creeping my way out so you can see me
I'm crawling my way around a thousand cities
You all stop and stare
I don't need your pity
I'm living my life in this hell.

Just a little more, come on and satisfy me,
Just a little more come on and terrify me,
Just a little more and I'll be done with it,
Take my life and then I'll feel okay,

Just a little more, come on and satisfy me.
Just a little more come on and terrify,
Just a little more and I'll be done with it,
Take my life and then I'll feel,
Take my life and then I'll feel,
Take my life and then I'll feel okay!









Escape from everything. Escaping from fate. Escaping from her. Escaping from myself. Escaping........... It's just me !!!

Labels:



let it go
2/20/2010 10:10:00 PM



February 15, 2010

Yee Zheng, this is the song we sang together.


It's not over by secondhand serenade

My tears run down like razorblades and no, I'm not the one to blame: it's you or is it me?
And all the words we never say come out and now we are all ashamed. And there is no sense
In playing games, when you done all you can do.

But now it's over, it's over. Why is it over? We had the chance to make it. Now it's over,
It's over. It can't be over. I wish that I could take it back, but it's over.

I lose myself in all these fights; I lose my sense of wrong and right. I cry, I cry. I'm
Shaking from the pain that's in my head. I just want to crawl into my bed and throw away
The life I led. But I won't let it die. But I won't let it die.

But it's over, it's over. Why is it over? We had the chance to make it. Now it's over,
It's over. It can't be over. I wish that I could take it back.

I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart. Don't say this wont last forever. You're breaking
My heart, you're breaking my heart. Don't tell that we will never be together. We could be over
And over, we could be forever.

I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart. Don't say this wont last forever. You're breaking
My heart, you're breaking my heart. Don't tell that we will never be together. We could be over
And over, we could be forever.

It's not over. It's not over, it's never over, unless you let it take you, it's not over,
It's not over, it's not over, unless you let it break you. It's not over.

Labels:



let it go
2/15/2010 10:51:00 PM



Watched 2 blog post saying about friends. I can only say I was touched, because after so long I thought that I had disappear from everyone mind, I saw that they still treated me as a friend.


My plans last year had backfired on me. I been trying of pulling the 2 clique together and so forming a more united class. But in the end, I was so called PULL to the another clique because of the same things we had done, our interests, and our habits, Especially a 7-year friendship. I was like desserted another clique. I felt so sorry.


Although I was more 'near' to them, I still never forget you guys. Just have lesser chats. I will still remembered the times that I and kar wong chating from 6pm to 1am using studying as excuses. After that we still do not want to go home, but still have to due to many things. I still remembered yee zheng doing many silly things together, such as turning the go-round and round thing, and giving me 2 dollars for completing 30 rounds. We had many happy times. However, we also have bad times. I remembered them trying to scold me to my senses when I cannot control myself from my emotional state because of her. I remembered them trying to pull me back when I try to engage into fights. Everytime I was angry, They will try to pull me back.


Remember once, I was angry at Mr ong for something. Kar wong know it, He try to stop my anger and tell mr ong to stop it. I remember I have the biggest conflict with Mr ong, When Yee zheng held me tightly like a brother. I remember many times that held on to me to prevent me from getting into troubles. I remember them trying to soothe the anger in my heart. I remember them trying to soothe the pain that I was trying to endure. I remember them as best friend of mine.


I remembered them. But 1 thing I also remembered, is that I did not do many things for them. I only try to share their pain sometimes. Whatsmore, I did something that both of them don't like. I'm sorry to be such a bad friend.


Although I treated many people as friends or good friends or even best friends, I do not really know how you all felt towards me. Sometimes I felt extra. Sometimes you all treated me as brothers. But most of the time now I go out with you all, I was just like an extra. I cannot really feel that we are friends at all. And within these timmes I had tried all my best to accustom to these lonely feelings. All these boredom feelings. Maybe is because I don't know how to talk. I can give all my best shot to friends, but can they? And did I?


I always remembered those precious feelings that lingered in my mind.

Labels:



let it go
2/15/2010 10:26:00 PM



February 8, 2010

如果世上没有他，我们最后到底会有什么结局？
如果世上没有你，我的结局到底会是怎么过的？
当初我们所说的一切不是在骗我吧 为什么我会爱你爱到怎么辛苦？
我爱你爱得很辛苦。爱得好孤独
告诉我，告诉我。我们以前的一切一切都不是假的。
告诉我，你有没有一次，像爱他们这样爱过我。


让我过得好一点。告诉我吧。不要让我埋没在一个黑暗的世界里。


我看我现在多说什么也没用了。只能慢慢地等待。
希望你别因此而避开我好吗，

Labels:



let it go
2/08/2010 11:43:00 PM



February 7, 2010

Drunk like crazy, I saw image of you flashing through my mind........
Waited at the ten floor of buang kok, imagining that it was your block, and imagining it is on the 7th storey.
Stains of tears like water remained beside the drain, like memories of you remaining like a pile of secrects in my mind.
And I silently screamed in my heart for you.
And the stupiest thing is that I know you wouldn't want to care,
And I still tried
And I may destroy your happiness.


I may laugh, I may smile, who knows that what have been hiding behind my laughter and smile. I may play, I may jump, but who knows the real motive why I try to make myself busy. I may cry, I may be sad, But who knows who will be the one that really care. I may be drunk, I may be crazy, But who knows that who I am really thinking very much in my heart that I smash glass bottle, I kicked the dustbin, And I silently screamed in my heart.



Yes, It is just my stupidity, My foolishness.


But, It was me, It was me to held me till today, till the day that I sweared that without anyone I can still live. To that day that I really only cared for myself.



But it was me that held myself up to think of some ways to numb myself of every pain that has been acheing in my heart for so long.


But it was me, to hate people who don't even respect me for who I am.


But it was me, to hate people who tell me somethings and doing other things.


But it was me to hate people who I helped a lot and in the end, He doesn't even care about me at all. And IT was me to hate people who always said that He was very good to me but only really been good to me once.



But it was me to occupy all the memories, to reminsce all the memories. But it was me who fell down on the 10th storey to hide from all the memories haunting.


But it was me...........


I am me.........


Remember this I am myself.


It was me who missed and loved you for so long, and it was me who used almost every means to forget you, and It was me who stupidly still did not succeed. Sorry. Sorry for disturbing you yesterday. Sorry for saying all those to you. Sorry for not forgeting you. Sorry for who I am . Sorry.

Labels:



let it go
2/07/2010 11:18:00 PM