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November 5, 2009

There's nothing much differences this year comparing to last year. I was left alone in this earth again. With no company and friends. I hope that if anyone hated me, they will just say out. But after waiting for so long, I still left with no answer. Just like last year, When everyone has their own type of friends. They will go out and play. I have to be torture by this boredom again. I just hope that if you guys are unhappy with me, Just say a word. I don't want to be hide in the dark again. The feeling suck...


Am I stupid? I always felt that I have been given a hope over and over again. And at last, I found out that it was false hope. And I will be thinging through over and over again. I hope someone could talk to me and help me to stop this pain. But, I think, no one will ever care. No one understand me.


Am I a tool, or is it I did something wrong? I don't know. Since no one wanted to tell me, then so be it. Because I have already have this type of feelings for a long time. But what I feel unhappy is that after all I had done, after all I have tried, I was again given a false hope. Maybe It was destined. Leave as you want as I am mad. Why should you all care if I am dead or alive. Till now, I discovered that I have always stand alone. Because, I felt that no one really treated me as a friend.



Oh, they always told me I was gorgeous in a way
And that fateful day
I found who I was
So fill this hole with my prescriptions
I just keep feeding my addictions

And all the friends that I have gone through
And how much I deserve the pain
It's a shame

(Friends and alibis)





Am I stupid? I knew it that we will be nothing. I knew it that after the O level, I will never have the chance to see you again. Only a few chances. Although I still wish to see you, it is so rare. I knew it that after O level, we will never contact again. And I'm right again. I held my phone, waiting for just a sms that could brighten up my days, but it never came. And after that I realised that all this while I have been waiting in vain, all this while I was wasting my time and life away.


I looked at the clock, wishing the time could stay when I sms you, wishing that we could talk. Wishing that I could listen to your voice every second. Just your voice could have brighten my day. I do not need any sympathy. I don't know what I need. Because what I need is impossible. I miss you deeply...


Everyone is distancing away. Let us say goodbye.



Sometimes I wonder
Why I'm still waiting
Sometimes I'm shaking
that's how you make me
Sometimes I question why I'm still here
Sometimes I think I'm going crazy

Can you help me understand?

And now you wish that you meant something
And now you wish that you meant something to somebody else
And now you wish that you met someone
And now you wish that you meant something to somebody else
Something to somebody else
Something to somebody else


You look at me through clouded eyes
I know you see through my lies
See the sky, see the stars
All of this could be ours
Out of sight, out of mind
we've been through this a thousand times
Turn your back and then you make me feel so crazy

Can you help me understand?

(something)


Take everything away from me silent angel
Leave me nothing to remind me of this time now lost



Please try to say more carefully that you no longer need me
This back and forth is killing me
The only eyes you'll look into are those in your reflection
You are the means to my end



This conversation is over, it's over...
Your truth is a deception meant to poison me



I can't seem to believe that you ever cared for me
...This conversation is over...
Your empty words now drift away as fragile whispers
I saw the day when the fire left your eyes, your tongue fell still
Your treason is silence...


(This conversation is over)


Yup, I took all these from songs lyrics. Say me copycat if you want .

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let it go
11/05/2009 04:42:00 PM